"I Deserve A Treat" Is Sabotaging Your Weight Loss

We’ve all been there.

You survived a tough day at work. You finally made it to the gym. You survived a toddler tantrum (or ten) without losing your mind. 

And in the back of your head, a little voice whispers: “I deserve a treat.”

It sounds harmless - empowering, even. But when this mindset becomes our go-to reward system, it can quietly sabotage our sustainable fat loss efforts and keep us stuck in a frustrating loop.

Let’s talk about why this mindset is so common—and what the research says about handling it differently (without feeling deprived or punished).

Why It’s So Easy to Fall Into the “I Deserve a Treat” Trap

The “I deserve a treat” mindset is built on a couple of very human tendencies:

1. Moral Licensing
   This is a psychological phenomenon where doing something “good” (like exercising, eating a salad, or completing a big task) gives us permission to follow it with something “bad” (like overeating or choosing something we normally wouldn’t).

2. Reward Conditioning
   Many of us were raised to associate treats with positive behaviors—cleaning your room earned you dessert, or a good report card meant ice cream. As adults, we often apply this reward loop to our eating habits. And while it can be fun to reward a positive behavior with something yummy every once in awhile, when food becomes our primary way of coping or celebrating, it stops feeling fun and starts feeling frustrating.

3. Emotional Exhaustion
   When we’re stressed, tired, or overwhelmed (all three, anyone!?), our brain looks for a quick dopamine hit. Food—especially high-fat, high-sugar foods—lights up the reward centers of the brain. And after a long day of willpower and decision-making, it’s hard to talk ourselves out of feeling like we “earned it”.

It needs to be said that treating yourself isn't bad. However, treating yourself in ways that directly oppose your goals, repeatedly and unconsciously, can be a big roadblock.

If “I deserve this” has become your default response to stress, accomplishment, or discomfort, keep reading.

What Research (and Real Life) Say Works Better

1. Reframe Your Reward System
Psychologists suggest replacing moral licensing with value-aligned rewards.
Instead of food being your only way to celebrate or decompress, try building a reward “toolbox” that includes:

• Rest (yes, a nap counts)

• Time to yourself

• A hot shower and your favorite playlist

• A walk outside

• A new journal, book, or pair of fuzzy socks

• (insert another form of self-care that doesn’t derail your goals here)

This mindset swap reinforces the idea that healthy behaviors are their own reward.

2. Make Treats Part of the Plan
Start looking at treats as things that can be enjoyed mindfully, on purpose, and without guilt - not as something that has to be earned. For example: instead of reaching for cookies to munch on mindlessly out of habit, plan to enjoy dessert after dinner on Friday’s when you can actually sit down and savor it.
This shift turns “I deserve this” eating into intentional, flexible nutrition.

3. Notice and Name
Insert a short pause between the urge and the action and identify how you’re feeling.
Ask yourself:

• What am I actually needing right now?

• Will this treat help me feel better - or worse - in 20 minutes?

• Is there a more effective way I can care for myself right now?

Creating space for mindful reflection—even just 90 seconds—can reduce impulsive choices and increase alignment with long-term goals.

The Bottom Line:

You deserve to celebrate wins and cope with hard days. But you also deserve to reach your goals.

Treats aren’t bad. But they don’t need to be your only reward.

Let’s build a lifestyle where food is part of the joy—but not the only way we care for ourselves.

---

PS. Be sure to tune into my Lose Fat Without Counting Calories Masterclass (for FREE) here!

Lose Weight... Easily?

When it comes to creating sustainable weight loss, there is no EASY button.

Last week I had a Nutrition Consultation with a woman who said something that stuck with me.

She said, "I’ve wasted so much time looking for an easy button, but I've come to find that it doesn't exist." 

And she’s not wrong.

When it comes to losing weight, our brains are attracted to (what sounds like) the easiest solution.

Why? Well, because:

1. We live in an overnight delivery culture and we don't need to exercise our patience muscle very often, so we learn to value convenience and expect results QUICK.

2. We feel pressure from social media and our society to “fit in” and look like whatever body type is trending at the time.

3. We want the path of least resistance. As busy people leading busy lives, anything that requires significant time, energy, and/or effort feels overwhelming - making “quick fixes” attractive.

4. We don’t have evidence-based expectations. Maybe we’ve never been taught what sustainable weight loss actually looks like, or maybe we’re inundated with before/after stories online that make the process seem sexier (and speedier) than it actually is.

But here's the thing - 

That "easy" option often isn't. 

Most "easy" options only produce short-term results while leaving you more stuck (or at the very least, right back where you started) in the long-run. 

Because the truth is - losing weight and confidently keeping it off isn’t a quick process.

Just like making a Croquembouche - a French dessert consisting of a tower of cream-filled profiteroles (cream puffs) that are held together by a layer of caramel - if you rush the process, or skip a step, the end result will crumble.

Sustainable weight loss takes time.

• You need to build healthy eating and movement habits you can execute even on hard days and during stressful weeks,

• You need to cultivate a growth mindset that views failure as feedback rather than final, and

• You need to become the version of yourself who can confidently sustain a lifestyle worthy of the results you want to maintain long-term

So the next time you’re tempted to take the “short-cut”, or find yourself looking for the easy way out, remember this: the magic (or should I say habits) happens when you choose the road less traveled and take the time required to create results that LAST.

Need some additional support on your sustainable weight loss journey? Let’s chat.

Propaganda I'm NOT Falling For:

The longer I’m in the health/nutrition space (going on 14 years now…) the more I realize that a lot of what’s shared and marketed towards women online isn’t just complete bullsh*t, it’s also keeping them stuck in the same repeat dieting cycle.

There’s a ton of noise - new diet trends, sexy supplements, rigid rules - but there’s little talk of nuance, sustainability, or individuality - which is what actually works!

So let’s chat about the propaganda I’m not falling for (and why you shouldn’t either):

anything having to do with #skinnytok

unless you’re looking to create guilt, comparison, and body dissatisfaction - ultimately sabotaging efforts to build sustainable habits that support long-term health, any advice you’ll find on #skinnytok is not it.

pilates for “long, lean muscles”

unless you’re lengthening your limbs (you’re not), muscles don’t change in length as a result of exercise. What most people want when they refer to “long, lean muscles” is visible muscle definition courtesy of a low body fat percentage. That comes from proper nutrition and strength training, not any specific exercise.

“hormone balancing” protocol

most products and services claiming to “balance your hormones” are snake oil. There is no supplement, detox, or diet that can balance your hormones better than building sustainable habits like eating a balanced diet, getting adequate sleep, managing stress, and moving regularly can.

skipping breakfast

unless it’s your personal preference, there is absolutely no benefit to skipping breakfast (in fact, it could actually be detrimental to your weight loss goal), or fasting until lunch. Starting your day with a balanced plate that is nutritious and satisfying, however, can be advantageous.

seed oil fear mongering

Demonizing seed oils ignores context and exaggerates minor concerns. Focusing on whole dietary patterns, not single ingredients, is what truly supports health and fat loss.

raw milk

Promoting raw milk as a health food ignores science and puts vulnerable people at real risk as raw milk can carry dangerous bacteria like E. coli, Salmonella, and Listeria, which pasteurization is designed to kill.

cutting carbs because they’re not essential

While the body can survive without carbs, thriving is a different story. Carbs provide energy, support mood and brain function, and help regulate appetite. Cutting them out can lead to low energy, cravings, binge-restrict cycles, and difficulty sticking to your plan long term.

viewing weight loss as a willpower issue

sustainable weight loss comes from building systems, routines, and a supportive mindset—not from trying to "be stronger." It's not about willpower; it's about strategy.

It's not your fault if reaching your weight loss goal feels confusing and overwhelming.

How could it not with all this noise circling the internet right now?

Rest assured, you don’t need more information.

What you need is a individualized approach to nutrition - one that’s flexible, strategic, and designed for you - so that you can reach your weight loss goal and confidently sustain your results.

That’s exactly what I teach inside my Fat Loss Jumpstart 3-month 1:1 Nutrition Coaching Program where I’ll walk you through how to create real, sustainable weight loss without tracking, extremes, or obsession.

Click here to SIGN UP!

Harsh Truths For The Woman Trying To Lose Weight

I was scrolling social media over the weekend (as you do) and stumbled upon some weight loss “advice” that said: “you’re not hungry - it’s just your body celebrating the progress you’re making”.

Talk about a gateway to disordered eating…

The one, perhaps only, good thing to come from that garbage circling the internet are these harsh truths for the woman trying to lose weight:

• If the only way you know how to "get back on track" is by eliminating food groups… it's not a track. It's a trap.

• Healthy eating that requires perfection isn't healthy — it's a diet in disguise.

• Eating a cookie doesn't ruin your progress. Thinking it does is what ruins your progress.

• If you're terrified of gaining weight when you stop tracking... that's not food freedom, that's fear.

• Obsessing over health isn’t healthy.

• You don’t need more willpower. You need a plan that doesn’t fall apart every weekend.

• If you have to restrict food and overexercise to have “that body”, then THAT’S NOT THE BODY FOR YOU, babe.

• If your weight loss plan encourages you to ignore hunger cues because “it’s your body celebrating progress”, you’re on a slip ’n slide towards an eating disorder.

If you’re ready to create health-promoting and sustainable weight loss, without all the fear, food rules, and restriction, there’s still time to APPLY for the Fat Loss Jumpstart!

I just wanted to lose a few pounds...

I started college, became less active, and thought losing a few pounds would help me feel more comfortable and confident in my body.

I started reading Women’s Health,

looking for weight loss inspiration on Pinterest, and

Googling things like “weight loss meal plans”.

My “research” introduced me to diets like Paleo, Whole30, calorie counting, and intermittent fasting.

Naturally, I tried them all, and alwaysss got the same result:

short term weight loss and long-term frustration when the weight inevitably came back.

…and that’s how the slippery slope into my terribly messed up relationship with food and unhealthy body image began.

I was stuck believing that I simply had to find the right diet in order for the results I wanted to stick.

But after ruining my body (and my mental health), I realized a very important truth:

It’s not about finding the “right” diet.

It’s about building the habits and skills that make healthy eating feel right — for life.

Sustainable weight loss doesn’t come from obsessing, controlling, or cutting things out.

It comes from…

✔️ Learning how to build meals that satisfy and support your goals

✔️ Trusting yourself to eat without tracking every bite

✔️ Getting “back on track” without spiraling after a “bad” choice

✔️ And giving up the all-or-nothing mindset that keeps you stuck

Which is exactlyyy what I help women do inside the Fat Loss Jumpstart.

This 3-month 1:1 coaching experience will give you the tools, structure, and support you need to finally make fat loss feel sustainable — and build confidence and consistency that lasts.

Ready to create results that actually stick without going insane or giving up your favorite foods?

APPLY TODAY

Because this offer is only good through the end of May!

** paid in full discount and payment plan available

If you're tired of feeling like you know what to do but can’t seem to stick with it…
If you want results without food rules, tracking, or starting over every Monday…. If you're ready to lose weight in a way that feels freeing, not frustrating —

The Fat Loss Jumpstart was made for you.

When NOT To Celebrate Weight Loss

Let me say something that might surprise you:

Weight loss, in itself, is not an accomplishment.

That might sound strange coming from someone who helps women lose weight. But hear me out…

Weight loss is an outcome. Not a habit. Not a behavior. Not a skill.

And yet, it often gets more praise than the healthy habits that actually make it possible.

This week, I lost 5 pounds in 5 days.

And if I used weight alone as a metric, I would be celebrating.

But I’m not. Because I didn’t lose that weight by doing anything healthy or sustainable.

In fact, I felt terrible. Exhausted. Lethargic. Unable to workout…

I lost 5 pounds in 5 days because I had the stomach flu.

The weight I lost was simply a result of dehydration and an MIA appetite for fear that anything I ate might make a reappearance.

That doesn’t sound like something worth celebrating, does it?

We need to stop treating the scale like the full story.

Because it’s not just if you lose weight — it’s how you get there that determines whether that weight loss is actually a win worth celebrating.

Did it come from eating balanced meals that satisfy and nourish you?

From learning to stop when you’re full — without counting every calorie?

From getting back on track after a weekend away without spiraling into “I blew it” mode?

That’s the stuff that deserves celebration.

Because the skills and habits that create health-promoting weight loss are the things that stick with you - even when the scale plateaus, life gets messy, or when motivation dips.

When you stop obsessing over the number and start focusing on the behaviors that align with how you want to feel and live your life, everything changes.

What if instead of asking, “How can I lose X pounds?”

We asked, “What habits do I need to build to support the healthy version of me I want to become?”

When that’s in alignment — the results follow. And more importantly, they stick around.

So no, I won’t celebrate weight loss just for the sake of it.

But I will celebrate you every step of the way as you build the habits that make it possible — and sustainable.

Do Women Really Need to Eat and Train Differently Than Men?

You’ve probably seen it…
The pink booty bands and dainty dumbbells.
The “hormone-balancing” teas, supplements, and seed cycling protocols.
The workout plans made “specifically for women” that look suspiciously like a warm-up.

And it begs the question — do women actually need to eat and train differently than men?

Let’s break it down.

🏋️‍♀️ Training: Same Rules, Smart Adjustments

✅ What’s the same:

• Women benefit from resistance training just as much as men — if not more, due to a greater risk of osteoporosis.

• Progressive overload, compound lifts, and muscle recovery apply equally.

• Cardio improves cardiovascular health, endurance, and calorie burn for everyone.

⚖️ What’s different:

• Hormonal fluctuations can impact strength, endurance, and recovery. Some women feel strong during the follicular phase (Day 1–14-ish), but experience dips in energy or coordination during the luteal phase (Day 15–28-ish).

• Women tend to have better endurance and recovery than men, which can mean they tolerate higher reps/volumebut may recover more slowly from very high-intensity work.

• During certain parts of the menstrual cycle, ligaments may be more lax, increasing injury risk.

Bottom line: Women don’t need a “pink dumbbell plan,” but training can be adjusted based on energy levels and cycle-awareness (if desired).

🍽️ Nutrition: Same Fundamentals, Personal Application

✅ What’s the same:

• Caloric deficit is required for fat loss.

• Protein, fiber, whole foods, and blood sugar balance are beneficial for all.

• Nutrition should support training, recovery, and lifestyle.

⚖️ What’s different:

• Women may have slightly lower calorie needs due to less muscle mass and lower basal metabolic rates.

• Appetite and cravings can fluctuate with the menstrual cycle, especially in the luteal phase (higher progesterone = increased hunger for some).

• Iron needs are higher for menstruating women.

• During perimenopause/menopause, hormonal changes can impact body composition, muscle retention, insulin sensitivity, and fat distribution.

Bottom line: The principles are the same — but supporting hormonal shifts and understanding energy needs at different phases makes the approach more effective and sustainable.

Many dieting and fitness businesses use "female-specific" training/dieting advice to sell unnecessary supplements or “hormone-balancing” programs, scare women away from strength training and/or carbs, and reinforce diet culture with pink-washed, restrictive approaches. But we’re not about that around here.

Women are not broken, and we don’t need completely different strategies when it comes to diet and exercise - what we need is a personalized application of science-backed advice.

Want support with that?

That’s exactly what we do inside our 1:1 Nutrition Coaching program.

Together, we’ll help you:

• Lose weight without giving up your favorite foods, or tracking everything you eat

• Build habits that support your body and your goals year round

• Create a nutrition strategy that feels effortless, not obsessive

💌 Click here to apply for 1:1 Nutrition Coaching — and get up to three FREE months when you commit to six months or more. It’s time to find the strategy that finally works (and keeps working) for you.

F*ck Skinnytok

“Eat small, be small. Eat big, be big”

“If your stomach is growling, pretend it’s applauding you.” 

“You don’t need a treat. You’re not a dog.”

If you haven’t heard, skinny is BACK and social media is, once again, filled with thin women dishing out the “tips and tricks” to keep you skinny. Here’s why that’s a massive problem:

1. Women’s bodies aren’t trends. It’s hard enough keeping up with current jean styles. It’s impossible- and unhealthy - to manipulate our bodies into whatever body type is “in style”. Your body is unique and your only focus should be making it as healthy and capable as possible.

2. Young girls and women are listening. Many of us in our 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond have lived through this before, and it left a mark. We struggled with disordered eating, full blown eating disorders, hating our bodies, and spending every second and dime we had in an attempt to match the societal ideal. We can’t do this to another generation. We must those younger than us to trust their bodies, take care of their bodies, and live their lives feeling nourished!

3. Skinny does NOT = healthy. For many of us, dropping calories low enough to achieve the “skinny” body type that is trending right now will lead to negative metabolic adaptations like increased fatigue and brain fog, muscle loss, poor sleep and recovery, constant thoughts of food, feelings of deprivation, and an incredibly unhealthy relationship with food. That doesn’t sound like health to me…

4. It keeps us small - mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and politically. When we’re obsessed with becoming the smallest, skinniest versions of ourselves, we are failing to nourish our bodies with the energy they need to stand up for what’s right, fight for what we believe in, and live the lives we’re worthy of!

It’s easy to fall into the trap of “I’ll be happier/life will be better when… I weigh less/wear a smaller size/etc.”, but as someone who’s been there (and tried it) I can tell you, first hand, if your only goal is to weigh less in order to fit in and be seen as better/more valuable, you’ll never be truly happy. Because the benchmark is always changing and the weight loss and beauty industries will always find things you need to change.

If fat loss is a personal goal of yours, and your motivation extends beyond simply wanting to look like everybody else on social media, please understand that there are health-promoting ways to go about it! You can achieve fat loss by nourishing your body with the right amount of foods, moving in a ways that feel fun and enjoyable (rather than punishing), and practicing true self-care.

And we’d love to show you how!

Always in your corner, Coach Lauren and Coach Nicole

5 "Fun Food" Facts:

You’re not “good” for skipping dessert or “bad” for going back for seconds. You’re a grown-ass woman — and you get to eat like one. But if you’ve ever found yourself elbow-deep in a bag of chips, or with sticky fingers from one too many peanut butter cups…this blog post is for you. Because whether it’s a special occasion, or an average Wednesday, these 5 “Fun Food” facts always ring true:

1. Just because it's in front of you doesn't mean you need to eat it.

   You can absolutely enjoy your favorite foods mindfully while still making progress and feeling fantastic, but can't expect the same if you indulge on every holiday and special occasion. Identify what brings you the most joy and pass on the rest.

2. Just because you started eating it doesn't mean you need to finish it.

   You can start eating something and decide it's not for you - or that you've reached a comfortable level of fullness - and leave the rest behind. It's just as "wasteful" to eat something you don't need (and maybe don't even enjoy) as it is to throw it away.

3. No one who loves you will be upset if you pass on something they made.

   Even if they made it "just for you" and/or everybody else is eating it, you don't have to. If you want it and will enjoy it, carry on! But if you're simply eating it out of obligation or people pleasing - DON'T. People who truly love you won't give a shit.

4. Enjoying a fun food (or two) isn't the same as saying "f-it" and eating until you feel uncomfortable.

   There's a lotttt of space between abstaining from fun foods completely and "falling off the wagon". Eat the things that mean the most to you, in a quantity that feels good, and move the fuck on.

5. Choosing not to enjoy any fun foods doesn't mean you're being "too strict" and choosing to enjoy several fun foods doesn't mean you're "out of control".

   Nutrition is NUANCED! And how you eat on a single occasion says very little about your health, progress, and relationship with food overall. Make the choice(s) that feel right for you based on your goals and preferences, and forget the rest.

Let’s make this the year you enjoy your favorite foods (or not) with unapologetic satisfaction and none of the shame - Apply for 1:1 Nutrition Coaching!

To everyone afraid of failing 'again',

Last night, I was juuust starting to fall asleep when I jolted awake in a panic because I heard a strange sound coming from my son’s monitor.

You see, a year ago, my son had a febrile seizure shortly after falling asleep that resulted in an ER visit, hospital admission, and long-term seizure meds.. To say the experience was traumatic feels like an understatement. I’ve never felt panic like that before.

Since then, whenever my son has a fever, my anxiety escalates in anticipation of another seizure. Pair that with the strange thumping sound coming through his monitor late at night and my nervous system jumped into fight or flight.

Turns out he woke up parched and was just guzzling water from his sippy cup like he was in the Sahara,

completely safe and healthy.

But before my brain registered that fact, I was plunged back into the same panic I felt over a year ago.

As I laid in bed, trying to calm my racing heart enough to go to sleep, I started thinking…

How many times has this exact same thing happened before? How many times have I reacted to the present as if it’s the past all over again?

… especially when it comes to my body and food?

I can’t tell you how many times clients and prospective clients have said they’ve failed ‘so many times’ in the past that they don’t know if they can be successful.

—even when they’re eating more nourishing foods, moving their bodies in a way that feels good, and no longer obsessing over food —the fear still creeps in.

Because they’ve been there before.

They’ve been the girl who thought she finally found the thing that would work…

…only to fall “off track” again.

So now, even when things feel calm and consistent, their brains are bracing for failure impact.
Waiting for the failure.
Expecting the crash.

• The scale goes up a pound and they panic.

• They eat dessert and feel like they “blew it.”

• They rest instead of working out and question everything.

The fear of repeating the past sabotages the progress they’re making in the present.

But here’s the truth: Just because your past taught you to fear the worst doesn’t mean the worst is coming.

Your body isn’t broken.
You’re not failing.
Your brain is simply trying to protect you based on what it’s known before.

Healing your relationship with food means more than just changing what you eat—it means learning to trust that this time, it can be different.

If you’re tired of living in the loop of past diets, past failures, and past rules… I want you to know: there is another way. One that’s actually sustainable. And I’d love to show you how.