Last night, I was juuust starting to fall asleep when I jolted awake in a panic because I heard a strange sound coming from my son’s monitor.
You see, a year ago, my son had a febrile seizure shortly after falling asleep that resulted in an ER visit, hospital admission, and long-term seizure meds.. To say the experience was traumatic feels like an understatement. I’ve never felt panic like that before.
Since then, whenever my son has a fever, my anxiety escalates in anticipation of another seizure. Pair that with the strange thumping sound coming through his monitor late at night and my nervous system jumped into fight or flight.
Turns out he woke up parched and was just guzzling water from his sippy cup like he was in the Sahara,
completely safe and healthy.
But before my brain registered that fact, I was plunged back into the same panic I felt over a year ago.
As I laid in bed, trying to calm my racing heart enough to go to sleep, I started thinking…
How many times has this exact same thing happened before? How many times have I reacted to the present as if it’s the past all over again?
… especially when it comes to my body and food?
I can’t tell you how many times clients and prospective clients have said they’ve failed ‘so many times’ in the past that they don’t know if they can be successful.
—even when they’re eating more nourishing foods, moving their bodies in a way that feels good, and no longer obsessing over food —the fear still creeps in.
Because they’ve been there before.
They’ve been the girl who thought she finally found the thing that would work…
…only to fall “off track” again.
So now, even when things feel calm and consistent, their brains are bracing for failure impact.
Waiting for the failure.
Expecting the crash.
The scale goes up a pound and they panic.
They eat dessert and feel like they “blew it.”
They rest instead of working out and question everything.
The fear of repeating the past sabotages the progress they’re making in the present.
But here’s the truth: Just because your past taught you to fear the worst doesn’t mean the worst is coming.
Your body isn’t broken.
You’re not failing.
Your brain is simply trying to protect you based on what it’s known before.
Healing your relationship with food means more than just changing what you eat—it means learning to trust that this time, it can be different.
If you’re tired of living in the loop of past diets, past failures, and past rules… I want you to know: there is another way. One that’s actually sustainable. And I’d love to show you how.