We’re heading into that time of year when Halloween candy is everywhere, Thanksgiving is around the corner, holiday parties start filling up the calendar, and suddenly food feels like it requires way more thought than usual.
And if you grew up in the ’90s or early 2000s, that probably feels familiar.
Somewhere between low-fat everything, Special K diets, and graphics telling us how many burpees we’d need to do to “burn off” a Snickers bar, a lot of us learned some pretty fucked-up rules about what it means to be “good” around food.
And even if you know better now, those rules can still get LOUD during the holidays.
You can know a lot about nutrition.
You understand protein
You understand calories
You know one meal isn’t going to magically erase months of progress
and STILL find yourself standing in front of the Halloween candy bowl having a full-blown internal debate about whether you’re “allowed” to have a Reese’s.
Or looking at your November calendar and thinking: Thanksgiving is coming up. I should probably be extra good for the next few weeks.
Or eating more than you planned at a holiday party and waking up the next morning already brainstorming how you can “make up for it”.
It’s exhausting.
Not necessarily because of what you ate, but because of everything happening in your head before, during, and after you eat it.
And if you have a fat-loss goal, I want you to hear this: Wanting to lose body fat does not mean you need to spend November and December fighting yourself every time you’re around food.
A huge part of sustainable fat loss is learning to recognize the old diet-culture rules that are still influencing your decisions - even when you’re not technically “on a diet.”
So let’s talk about five of the big diet culture ruels that tend to get REALLY loud during the holidays.
Rule #1: “I need to be extra good before the holidays.”
Tell me if this sounds familiar…
Thanksgiving is coming, you have two holiday parties, your family is traveling, there’s a cookie exchange at work, and before any of it has even happened, you’re already mentally preparing:
Okay, I need to buckle down for the next two weeks.
Maybe I’ll cut back on carbs.
I should probably avoid sweets until Thanksgiving.
Better make sure I get every workout in.
The rule underneath all of that is: If I know I’m going to eat more later, I need to compensate ahead of time.
But think about what that actually means. You’re treating a future holiday meal like something you need to earn.
And for some people, restricting beforehand just means arriving at the meal extra hungry, more preoccupied with the food, and under even more pressure to somehow “get it right.”
What if, instead, you rewrote the rule into something like:
“I can continue eating normally and make choices that support my goals without trying to earn my holiday meals.”
You don’t need to spend the two weeks before Thanksgiving preparing to make up for Thanksgiving. You can just eat.
And yes, you can still have a fat-loss goal while doing that.
Rule #2: “If I start eating the treats, I won’t be able to stop.”
Between the halloween candy, the pumpkin pie, the Christmas cookies, the fudge someone leaves in the break room, your mom’s homemade dessert that only shows up once a year… your brain starts thinking:
I can’t have just one.
If I start, I’ll eat the whole plate.
I have absolutely no willpower around this stuff.
But here’s the question I want you to ask:
Have you actually given yourself opportunities to learn how to enjoy these foods without guilt? Or have you spent years alternating between avoiding them and feeling like you’ve lost control around them?
Because those are two very different things. If every time you eat a Christmas cookie your brain immediately says:
Well, I already ruined today…
of course one cookie will turn into a much bigger event. Not because there’s something wrong with you, but because you’ve learned to treat food like it’s a big f*cking deal. A more useful thought might be:
“I can practice eating foods I enjoy without turning the experience into a test of willpower.”
Maybe that looks like sitting down with the cookie, actually tasting it, enjoying it, and then noticing what happens next.
Without declaring the day ruined. Without compensating. Without judging yourself.
Rule #3: “If I eat more than planned, I need to make up for it.”
This one is practically baked into the diet-culture rule book.
Maybe you have a bigger Thanksgiving dinner than expected, you eat dessert when you hadn’t planned to, you eat more appetizers at a party because they’re delicious and, oh yeah, you were hungry, and the next morning your brain is already thinking about a repayment plan:
No carbs today.
I’ll just have a salad for lunch.
I should probably do some extra cardio.
Remember those graphics telling us exactly how much exercise it would take to burn off a candy bar? You might not literally be doing burpees to burn off your Snickers anymore, but that doesn’t mean you stopped following the rule underneath it:
If I eat something “bad,” I need to do something “good” to cancel it out.
You don’t need to punish yourself for eating. And one larger meal does not determine your long-term fat-loss results.
The rewrite: “I ate more than I planned. I can return to my usual eating routine without compensating or starting over.”
That’s it. No dramatic comeback. No detox. No punishment workout.
You just keep going.
Rule #4: “If I can’t follow my plan perfectly, there’s no point.”
This is the one that can turn one holiday party into two months of feeling “off track.”
You go to a party Friday, you eat differently than usual, then Saturday comes and you think:
Well, this weekend is already shot.
So you stop paying attention to your usual routines. Then there’s another event next week. Then Thanksgiving. Then another dinner. And suddenly you’re saying:
I’ll just start fresh in January.
Girlfriend, it’s November!
Are you really putting your entire approach to nutrition on hold for eight weeks because you ate some appetizers at a party?!
The problem here isn’t the appetizer - it’s the meaning attached to the appetizer. If consistency means “following the plan perfectly,” then any deviation feels like failure.
A more sustainable rule is: “I can make choices that support my goals even when my routine looks different.”
Maybe your workouts change because you’re traveling, maybe dinner is at a restaurant, maybe your schedule is complete chaos… whatever it is, you don’t need to abandon your goals because your usual routine isn’t available.
You can adapt. And honestly? Learning how to adapt is one of the most important skills you can build if you want fat-loss results that actually fit into your life.
Rule #5: “The scale determines whether I was good or bad.”
Picture this:
You had a great Thanksgiving weekend, you spent time with family, you ate foods you love, you laughed, you relaxed, your routine looked a little different, and when Monday morning comes you step on the scale to see that the number is higher…
Suddenly everything good about the weekend gets swallowed up by one number.
Did I ruin my progress?
Did I gain all the weight back?
Should I cut calories this week?
The rule underneath it: If the scale goes up, I must have done something wrong.
Except body weight fluctuates. Hydration, sodium intake, digestion, and other normal factors can change what you see from one weigh-in to the next. A higher number after a holiday weekend does not automatically mean you gained body fat.
So instead of: The scale went up. I failed.
Try: “One weigh-in doesn’t tell the whole story. I can look at the bigger picture before deciding whether anything needs to change.”
Progress monitoring should be a tool, not something that gets to determine your mood or self-worth for the next 24 hours.
These Rules Don’t Just Live in Your Head
Here’s the part I really want you to understand:
These aren’t just thoughts. They influence behavior.
They determine whether you skip breakfast after a bigger dinner, whether you avoid certain foods because you’re afraid you won’t be able to stop eating them, whether you abandon your routine after one imperfect day, whether you start another strict diet every January…
You can have the most scientifically sound fat-loss plan in the world, know your calorie and nutrient needs, and understand exactly what creates fat loss, but if old diet-culture beliefs keep pulling you back toward restriction, guilt, compensation, and starting over, nutrition knowledge alone may not solve the problem.
This is where a lot of smart, capable women get incredibly frustrated. They think:
I need to try harder.
I need to be more disciplined.
I need a better plan.
I just need to wait until life calms down.
When what they actually need is to change how they respond to the moments that keep derailing them.
That’s a very different kind of work.
Try This: Notice It. Name It. Rewrite It.
This is one small piece of the work I do with clients inside The Rewrite Method.
The next time one of these thoughts pops up, try this:
1. Notice it.
Maybe you catch yourself thinking, “I’ve been so bad this weekend”, or, “I need to make up for what I ate”.
Pause and pay attention to what that thought makes you want to do.
Skip breakfast?
Add extra cardio?
Avoid carbs?
Start over Monday?
The behavior often shows you where the old rule is hiding.
2. Name it.
Then ask: “What rule am I following right now?”
Maybe it’s:
If I eat something bad, I need to make up for it.
If I can’t do everything perfectly, there’s no point.
If the scale goes up, I’m failing.
Name the actual belief.
Because once you can see what’s driving the reaction, you can start questioning whether you want to keep obeying it.
3. Rewrite it.
Lastly, ask: “What’s a more accurate and helpful way to respond here?”
Not a fluffy affirmation you don’t believe, but something realistic.
For example:
“I ate more than I planned. That isn’t a reason to skip meals tomorrow.”
“My schedule changed. I can adjust my routine without abandoning it.”
“One weigh-in doesn’t tell me whether my plan is working.”
And then comes the most important part: Do something differently.
Eat your normal breakfast.
Return to your next planned workout instead of adding punishment cardio.
Eat dinner with your family without mentally accounting for every bite.
Rewriting an old belief isn’t just about coming up with nicer words, it’s about changing what happens next.
This Is Bigger Than the Holiday Season
Yes, these rules get loud during November and December, but they don’t disappear in January.
They show up at birthdays, on vacation, during stressful workweeks, when your kid gets sick, when you miss a workout, when the scale fluctuates, when you eat something you didn’t plan for.
And if you’ve spent 10, 20, or 30 years bouncing between “being good” and starting over, you probably already know that another meal plan isn’t going to fix all of that.
That’s why I created The Rewrite Method.
I believe women can pursue fat loss without making food, weight, and their bodies the center of their entire lives.
Inside coaching, we don’t just talk about calories and macros. We identify the old diet rules and automatic responses that keep pulling you back into the same cycle. Then we build a personalized nutrition approach around your actual life. We practice navigating the situations that used to derail you. And ultimately, we work toward the point where you feel confident maintaining your progress without needing a coach or food tracker forever.
The goal isn’t to become better at dieting, it’s to build an approach you can actually live with.
If you keep getting motivated, following all the rules, feeling like you blew it, and starting over again… I encourage you look beyond the food and ask yourself:
What belief is driving this decision?
Because changing the plan without changing the pattern will leave you right back where you started.
And if you want personalized support identifying those patterns and learning how to lose body fat without giving up your life to do it, you can apply for 1:1 Nutrition Coaching inside The Rewrite Method.
Because you can want to change your body without spending your life fighting it.
