"I Deserve A Treat" Is Sabotaging Your Weight Loss

We’ve all been there.

You survived a tough day at work. You finally made it to the gym. You survived a toddler tantrum (or ten) without losing your mind. 

And in the back of your head, a little voice whispers: “I deserve a treat.”

It sounds harmless - empowering, even. But when this mindset becomes our go-to reward system, it can quietly sabotage our sustainable fat loss efforts and keep us stuck in a frustrating loop.

Let’s talk about why this mindset is so common—and what the research says about handling it differently (without feeling deprived or punished).

Why It’s So Easy to Fall Into the “I Deserve a Treat” Trap

The “I deserve a treat” mindset is built on a couple of very human tendencies:

1. Moral Licensing
   This is a psychological phenomenon where doing something “good” (like exercising, eating a salad, or completing a big task) gives us permission to follow it with something “bad” (like overeating or choosing something we normally wouldn’t).

2. Reward Conditioning
   Many of us were raised to associate treats with positive behaviors—cleaning your room earned you dessert, or a good report card meant ice cream. As adults, we often apply this reward loop to our eating habits. And while it can be fun to reward a positive behavior with something yummy every once in awhile, when food becomes our primary way of coping or celebrating, it stops feeling fun and starts feeling frustrating.

3. Emotional Exhaustion
   When we’re stressed, tired, or overwhelmed (all three, anyone!?), our brain looks for a quick dopamine hit. Food—especially high-fat, high-sugar foods—lights up the reward centers of the brain. And after a long day of willpower and decision-making, it’s hard to talk ourselves out of feeling like we “earned it”.

It needs to be said that treating yourself isn't bad. However, treating yourself in ways that directly oppose your goals, repeatedly and unconsciously, can be a big roadblock.

If “I deserve this” has become your default response to stress, accomplishment, or discomfort, keep reading.

What Research (and Real Life) Say Works Better

1. Reframe Your Reward System
Psychologists suggest replacing moral licensing with value-aligned rewards.
Instead of food being your only way to celebrate or decompress, try building a reward “toolbox” that includes:

• Rest (yes, a nap counts)

• Time to yourself

• A hot shower and your favorite playlist

• A walk outside

• A new journal, book, or pair of fuzzy socks

• (insert another form of self-care that doesn’t derail your goals here)

This mindset swap reinforces the idea that healthy behaviors are their own reward.

2. Make Treats Part of the Plan
Start looking at treats as things that can be enjoyed mindfully, on purpose, and without guilt - not as something that has to be earned. For example: instead of reaching for cookies to munch on mindlessly out of habit, plan to enjoy dessert after dinner on Friday’s when you can actually sit down and savor it.
This shift turns “I deserve this” eating into intentional, flexible nutrition.

3. Notice and Name
Insert a short pause between the urge and the action and identify how you’re feeling.
Ask yourself:

• What am I actually needing right now?

• Will this treat help me feel better - or worse - in 20 minutes?

• Is there a more effective way I can care for myself right now?

Creating space for mindful reflection—even just 90 seconds—can reduce impulsive choices and increase alignment with long-term goals.

The Bottom Line:

You deserve to celebrate wins and cope with hard days. But you also deserve to reach your goals.

Treats aren’t bad. But they don’t need to be your only reward.

Let’s build a lifestyle where food is part of the joy—but not the only way we care for ourselves.

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PS. Be sure to tune into my Lose Fat Without Counting Calories Masterclass (for FREE) here!