Have you heard this before? I LIVE in this passage. Perfectionism has been my jam - my comfort zone - for many many years. Not that I'm always perfect, certainly not, but my every action has been externally driven by the question, "what will people think?" - striving to avoid any inkling of shame, blame or judgement.
Living my life behind the shield that is perfectionism has kept me, what I mistakenly thought as, safe. But in actuality, my shield of perfectionism has only kept me from being seen. Despite my many years of following orders, exceeding expectations and doing the "right" thing, I had never learned how to be known or how to be seen for who I am, performance aside.
It's taken a lot of good therapy to open my eyes to this, and for that I'm eternally grateful. So here's what I want to share with all of you - because, while sometimes we need to fall down and skin our own knees to learn the lesson, sometimes the best lessons are learned by those around us, if we just learn to listen.
So here it is bb's - Failure isn't optional. Rest isn't earned. Imperfection isn't negotiable.
You're going to fail. It's required. You're going to need rest. It's required. You're going to be imperfect. It's required. Failure, rest and imperfection need to occur regularly and without justification if we ever expect to grow. Did you hear that? Regularly. And without justification.
Too often we treat being known and seen by those around us as something we earn. If we do everything right, THEN we'll earn love. If we excel at our job, THEN we'll be worthy. If we do more, THEN we'll reach our goal. But it's not always about doing MORE and it's certainly not about living in FEAR, because if we're honest, those of us living behind the shield are really just afraid of being seen for who we really are.
Will I measure up?
What will everyone think of me?
Will I be good enough?
Being truly seen and known isn't contingent on anything else other than our willingness to be seen and known. I am worthy of love, acceptance, belongingness and compassion regardless of how much I do or don't do. You are worthy of the same.
And you know what makes all the difference and defeats that heavy ass shield? Authenticity. Being bold and uniquely YOU. And in the words of Brene Brown, "being unarmored, messy, awkward, compassionate and less-than-perfect".
So here's to being messy, awkward and less-than-perfect together!
Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well.