What was the last nice thing you said to yourself?
Yeah, too often that's the case.
We hear a lot about self-talk these days. We know that negative self-talk is "bad" and that positive self-talk is "good", but do we really know and understand how that impacts real life goal achievement?
I would argue that we don't. And here's why, based on what I see with my one-on-one fat loss and disordered eating coaching clients:
1. Client sees something beautiful; a goal worth pursuing
2. Client attempts to reach the goal
3. Client fails to reach the goal
4. Client decides that the goal probably isn't that beautiful after all and that the pursuit isn't worth his/her time
5. Client gives up and looks for the next beautiful thing
Every time you make an excuse, beat yourself up for failing or justify why you can't do something, you begin to believe those scripts a little more each time. Take for example the forty-something female client who desperately seeks acceptance and body confidence but repeatedly fails to find it amidst the decades of negative scripting ingrained by her over-dieted mother who insisted on deprivation as a form of love and affection. What we hear most often is what we begin to believe.
So I want to ask, what story are you telling yourself? Or maybe, what script has been fed to you? And is that story/script holding you back from what you truly want?
It's easy to want something and to run after it.
It's easy to convince yourself that you didn't want that thing after all because the road to get there is hard or uncomfortable.
It's hard to keep trying despite skinned knees and a bruised ego.
It's hard to keep running after what you want - choosing deliberately to celebrate the wins and learn from the failures.
Because guys, you're going to fail. And guys, there will be goals you don't reach the first, second, or even third time you try. But gosh darn it guys, that doesn't mean it's not a goal worth pursuing.
What if, instead of feeding yourself negative self talk and scripts laden with excuses and justifications you praised what went well, re-evaluated what didn't and encouraged yourself (i.e. positive self-talk) to try again? What if that voice inside your head was supportive of your efforts? Inspired by your attempts? And encouraged your steadfast consistency?
Might you then have the strength - the power - and the resiliency to reach that big, bold beautiful goal? I say 100% yes. Because you and I, we're motivated by praise, not punishment. And that little voice inside each and every one of our heads is no exception to the rule.
So set big beautiful goals. Say nice things to yourself. If it's hard, practice. And above all, keep trying.
Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well.